Learning to love ourselves and put ourselves first is the hardest thing most of us will ever learn or even master, yet it will give you the BIGGEST return on your investment that you will EVER have. For most, without their joy and their health, life isn’t worth living. Without really knowing what self love feels like, they come to understand that they can’t truly express their love to anyone else.
The good news here is that you CAN heal. In body, in mind, and in spirit. You can repattern your neurology to stop the negative, self-sabotaging self talk, the feelings of anger, fear, shame, guilt, and sadness. You can heal from your trauma without you having to re-experience your old stories. Your body can and does heal when you do this work and when you identify and remove all the other barriers to healing.
You have the power to heal in every capacity and to do that, your first step is – taking the first step! What are you doing in your actions and thoughts that is congruent (on the same path) to take you to the destination you are seeking?
It doesn’t matter where you are, how long you have struggled, or how bad it may seem. There is always hope and your hope starts from within you and what you choose to believe about yourself and how you decide to show up for YOU.
I invite you to do a little exercise. This exercise that I am sharing with you is something that our clients learn. It’s something we teach them that has profound effects on their physical body and their mind and spirit. It’s something that I learned that completely changed how I see myself and the world around me and it ultimately led me into a completely new and amazing life filled with joy, healing, health, … everything I had desired so deeply for my entire life.
I’m not saying that this one exercise was magic or that my life transformed instantly. I wish it were that easy. What I am saying is that this exercise I am about to share with you was so profound for me and it is so profound for our clients, that it is powerful enough to help you take that next step, and the next, and the next, in the direction of manifestation of your desires.
Close your eyes. Now imagine your little girl/boy self as far back as you can remember. For me it was when I was three years old, hiding under the dining table watching my parents yelling at each other. When I first recalled this memory of myself, as far back as I could remember, I could see little Elena and she was lonely. She was scared. She felt unsafe. She was so cute with her chubby little cheeks and her 1970’s bowl cut hair style. She had on her favorite little red and blue plaid dress. Her eyes were looking down because she was so sad and lonely. She was upset to hear her mom and dad unhappy. As I recalled this memory I walked over to my little 3 year old self and said, “Hey Elena, it’s me. I’m sorry you’ve had to wait so long but I am here now. It’s ok, you are not alone. I love you so much, Elena.” In my mind I bent down and picked her up and held her and I could feel her release the tension and tremors in her body. She said to me, “ I have been so lonely waiting for you and I am so glad you finally came back for me.”
Then together we went to find my little 5 year old self. As my little 3 year old self and I walked up to her, we could see she recognized us with a surprised and delighted look on her little face. I picked her up in my other arm and the three of us hugged and cried and I told my little 5 year old self, “Little Elena, I am here now and I am so sorry you had to wait so long.” Tears rolled down my cheeks as I imagined telling her how much I love her and that I will always be here for her and never leave, and that she is safe here with me now. My little 5 year old self replied as she held me tight, “I am so glad you are here. I have been so lonely waiting for you. Thank you for loving me!”
As I continued my journey with my little 3 year old self and my little 5 year old self, picking up all the little Elena’s that had been lonely, scared, and scattered across decades I could literally feel my body shift. It would shake, jerk, yawn, cry, take deep breaths… I could feel my body coming back to life. It was the first time in my life that I felt that intensity of love and joy. I realized that because I had never felt this depth of love for myself or anyone or anything, I didn’t have a gauge to understand what an intense feeling of love really could feel like. They say that until you truly and deeply love yourself, you can’t truly love another. I never understood this and embodied this until the day I went back for all my little selves to pick them up and allow my heart and my soul to love them and to receive their love. That was the day I learned what deep love felt like and that experience was profound enough to help me take the next step, and the next, and the next.
This is just one of the handful of profound experiences our clients have when they go through our mind, body, spirit integration programs and our comprehensive mind, body restoration programs. Loving yourself is one of the most powerful medicines you can experience and it’s the key and the secret sauce to real and sustainable healing and health.
I invite you to do this exercise and experience what emotions come up. Can you allow yourself to feel the emotions deeply? How does your body react when you allow yourself to truly and deeply feel whatever comes up when you go back to pick up your little baby selves, to hold them, to protect them, and to love them? What does it feel like to open your heart to yourself? What does it feel like to allow yourself to receive intense love from your baby selves?
As we go into the holidays I invite you to take action. Take action to practice self love. Take action to create a roadmap for yourself – so that you can see if you are really being congruent in your actions, beliefs, and self talk so that you can actualize your desires for yourself, no matter in what area you have desires. You have the power. You are driving the car. No one else is responsible for your life and your outcomes but you. No one is responsible for your ability to heal but you.
And please, reach out to us if you’ve done this exercise. Tell us your story! We love hearing from you.
Sending you inspiration, hope, and strength through Love.
-Dr V